Since the ex and I split in April of last year, I can't lie and say that I haven't had my share of male attention. Some have stuck around longer than others, almost all of them save one or two have claimed to have some sort of insane connection to me. I have only believed one of them. What else do these men have in common with one another? No luck on the guesses?

Let me tell you. ALL of them are unavailable in one way or another. Whether it is emotionally or otherwise, I believe I have experienced every level of unavailability. There was the dude who was a stand in husband while her husband was deployed, that was interesting to say the least. The Abercrombie model look alike who was really just too young. There was the one whose girlfriend called me at 3am. The one who didn't even have a phone. The strictly internet relationship. AND my latest suitor, the one who is paying for an out of state woman's divorce. OH. BOY.

At the risk of sounding like a total asshole, narcissist, I am going to say that I am a fucking catch. I have my shit together. I own my own home and car. I have two jobs. I am relatively emotionally stable with the exception of when I am PMSing, but that is just a woman thing...I can't help that. I am tough and can make my partner feel like the most special person on the planet. I have good taste in music, will play a video game, I like comics. I am attractive. I have been told I am sexy, but I am still having trouble with this one. I know what I like. I like to think that I have a good sense of style and a good sense of humor. I am smart and witty and can probably make you laugh with my goofy jokes or vocabulary. I am uniquely me. I am really cool with this. SO WHAT THE FUCK IS THE GOD DAMN PROBLEM????

I feel like I am being punk'd by the dang universe. To see how many different types of 'ain't shit dudes' can come my way. I need to figure out what it is about me that is attracting these ain't shit dudes, fix it and FAST. I am unsure of how much more of these shenanigans that I can take.

The thought of being a wife and a mother are increasingly becoming important to me. I often wonder if I missed my chance somewhere and am passed my prime. I am scared to death I am never going to have the chance to experience those things. It is just as real of an option as it happening to me.

While I am not ready to ride the bench just yet, I am getting weary. I will keep putting myself out there and keep weeding through the toads. I guess for as long as it takes?